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Saturday 31 August 2013

10 Things only a Best Friend Would do for you

We may have tens and hundreds of friends. But a best friend is not only one in a hundred but one in a million. You just somehow click so amazingly, you get all references they make, you know each person on the planet they know, by just exchanging a glance you know what the other person is thinking. You may not talk for weeks at a go and not see each other for months but when you do it feels as if a lost part of your soul has returned, nothing changes despite time and distance. Friends come and go, but a best friend stays forever. You just know they will be the maid of honour at your wedding and help raise your kids and play bridge games with you when you’re old and withering. A best friend stands next to you holding your hand even when you’re wrong. At the end of a long day all you want to do is get into their bed and make fun of the entire world. So here is a list of 10 things only a best friend and nobody else will do for you..

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10. Build a future imaginary world with you.
Since our best friend is the only mortal who can bear our continuous presence (and vice versa) we want to ensure to bind them with us forever. We share our dreams and ambitions and make each other a part of our future, so we make extensive plans as to how you will live together, move to New York, adopt a baby, and be bros forever, survive a zombie apocalypse, how you will form your own country and take over the world( a man actually tried to do that, he declared war on east Germany and his country consisted of a house and his lawn)....

9. Spend their last rupee on you.
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Even the stingiest and the most frugal of people, don’t hesitate before spending for a best friend. One never has a ‘you owe me – I owe you’ account with a best friend; of course in a lifelong friendship it will eventually balance out. Their wallet is your wallet and your wallet there. The same rule applies for every belonging you possess. No permissions have to be taken before invading each other’s rooms, wardrobes or wallets. They just simply march into your premises open your fridge drink your beer, eat your food, put on a clean shirt of yours, take some of your cash and leave as you lay on the bed watching them, and you don’t mind....


8. Take care of you when you’re drunk.
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Well your friends will do that too, but your best friend will make sure you get home safe, change you into pyjamas and put you into bed, ensure that your mom doesn’t find out and if she does act even more drunk than you so that you get into less trouble, ensure you do not at any cost call/text your ex and even clean up your puke and all the mess that you create. While a friend will watch in disgust as you puke all over yourself, a best friend will hold you and your hair back as you puke all over them and later make A LOT of fun of you.
7. Insult the crap out of you.
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The reason why your best friend is your BEST friend is that you both accept each for what you are, so there are no fake compliments involved, so when you act like a complete douche, wear a sparkling golden shirt or have a crush on the most unappealing person alive undoubtedly your best friend WILL make a lot of fun of you. Things that even fall under the ‘high-sensitivity’ zone like your receding hair line or your ear hair lose their sensitivity when it’s your best friend who’s making fun of you and of course when you insult your best friend they tend to smile back and insult you even more. You casually address each other with abuses. And you know something is seriously wrong when a sentence is spoken without a single insult.
6. FIGHT! (for you and with you)
Your best friend may be the most peaceful, non-violent person on the planet, they will never raise they’re voice if someone says something to them or tries to fight with them, but notice that flaring of their nostril and clenching their fist when someone says anything to you, whether it’s a friend, faculty or their parents they will stand up for you no matter what.They will give anyone who troubles you a hard time, and plan detailed evil revenge along with you. They will also fight with you just for the fun of it. hit you, insult you sometimes just for the fun of making up, not a day will pass when you don’t have a fun casual fight.
5. They will hate for you
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If you hate a random person just because you want to, they will too. Even if they don’t know that person, they will sit with you and bitch about them with you till the end of day light. And give them death stares every time they see them. If someone messes with you he/she messes with them too. For example,they will hate a girl just because she is over friendly with YOUR boyfriend.
4. Talk it out with you
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No matter what time of the day, no matter what they’re doing if you need to talk to them they will talk to you, even if all you want to discuss your new strategy as to how you will marry Ryan Gosling. They too will not hesitate in kicking your butt at 4:00 am and waking you if they need to talk, or just crawling into your bed uninvited and lie there with you. Your best friend can probably map out what’s going on in each part of your brain with ease. you and your best friend will probably even have your own gibberish and terms you use for things and people that nobody else understands.
3.  Indulge in everything uncool with you
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Your best friend knows all your embarrassing secrets and all your embarrassing guilty pleasures. They will always be a part of them with you and of course keep your uncoolness a secret from the rest of the world. Whether it’s your love for the movie Hannah Montana or your disgusting addiction of consuming hordes of raw onions, and if ever someone mentions in front of you how lame the movie is you will agree and just give each other ‘the look’.
2. Fail with you
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Only a true best friend will study only if you study and not study if you don’t. They will stop studying leave their assignments just to help you out with your work. All the work you do tends to be group work as you do everything from scratch together. Even when writing an exam all their concentration will be on trying to help you cheat and making faces at each other. And when a best friend says lets not study they will really keep true to their word and get hopelessly drunk with you and fail the next day.
1. Fight with you, if you say something negative about yourself
Of course they stand up for you when others say or do something but when you eventually get those bouts of self-loathing and hatred, they will slap you and lecture you and scream at you. It pains them the most when you forget how awesome you are. So they will drive down and get cartons of ice cream and beer instead and remind you of every single awesome thing that you have ever done, everything you have ever achieved and remind you of every person who loves and adores you for the way you are.

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